Funny Stuff

So three guys are on a plane and they're lost. A French guy, an American guy and a Mexican. The French guy steps up and says "You know what? I am psychic. Just show me to the window and I will tell you where we are."
So they show him to a window, he sits down, puts his hand out the window and closes his eyes. He says "Alright I can feel it. There are lights. It is a city! ...and a tower.... The Eifel Tower! we are in France! land the plane, we are home!"

So the pilot starts to land the plane.

The American steps up. He says "You know, I don't know about the French dude, but me, I'm psychic for real. Let me give it a try." So the American sits down, puts his hand out the window and closes his eyes. He says "Oh, me too, I can feel it. There are lights, yes we are in a city......but.......that's not the Eifel Tower, it's the Statue of Liberty. We're in New York! Land the plane, we're home!"

Once again the pilot starts to land the plane.

The Mexican steps up. He says "How do you know where we're going? You know what? I want to give it a try." So he goes to the window, puts his hand out, pulls it back in and says "We're in Mexico."
Confused they ask, "How do you know?"
The Mexican says "Because they just stole my watch!"

An Irishman walks into a bar, and tells the bartender "I'll have three rounds, all at once." So the bartender gets his order but says to the man "Sir, you'd enjoy them better sir if I served them to you one at a time." The Irishman replies "No, its a tradition. Back in Dublin, my brothers and I would all go to the pub and have a round together. I moved over here a few years ago but I still keep the tradition." Touched by the story, the bartender served the rounds, and went about his business. The Irishman returned for several nights. One night, the Irishman comes in and only orders two rounds. The bartender shaken, asks "what happened? Did one of your brothers die? "The Irishman laughed and replied, "No, I quit drinking!"

A blind business man goes on a trip when he suddenly feels his plane shift in midair. He stumbles over to the cabin to find his pilot dead from a heart attack. He shouts over the radio, "I'm blind, my pilots dead and I'm flying upside down!" The man on the other end says, "We'll walk you through the landing but how do you know you're upside down if your blind?" "Because," says the blind man, "I can feel the shit running down my back!!!"

Hahahahahahahahaha.

Here's a little something for you guys.

"I've been swinging my rod around since yesterday." Hahahahaha

Always best done in moderation~